Let Love Have the Last Word by Common

Common is someone I respect a lot. I’ve liked some of his music but more than that, I’ve liked the person he portrays and the values he upholds. I enjoy learning from people like that, who have earned so much of my respect. I didn’t know what to expect from this book at first.

People may often overlook this part of being a hero and that is what Common spent some time explaining during this part of the book. It is important that as a hero we experience no sense of entitlement. As a hero, as someone who saves others, we are required to carry MORE.

Part of being a hero means that you have to carry the weight. You have to get back up when you fall.

I think that this part is so so huge. We need to know who we are, we need to acknowledge our current state and then pursue more. God’s light is in all of us, after all, He created us and as Common said, the important thing is to love.

“Three things will last forever — faith, hope, and love — and the greatest of these is love.” — 1 Corinthians 13:13

Acknowledge who you are and then with resolution, pursue your higher self. That ideal and perfect version of yourself, reflecting God’s light. You may fail over and over again, but you pursue anyway (relentlessly). Love life the best way that you can. The important thing is to love. And to live with love.

Wow how I loved this. Common was talking to his daughter and he asked her, anticipating what one of her responses may be. However, it was more serious than he expected and he felt hurt as a result. Yet, he knew that he hurt her and that she was much more important than his feelings at that moment. It’s not always about us, and when it is, people will usually tell us. If they don’t, then we should ask them when it can be or share that we would like it to be.

“This hurt me a lot, but, in the moment, it wasn’t about my feelings.”

This is hard for me because I am often focused on resolution, change, and doing better the next time. So, as Common says, it is logical and rational to ask that yet, the reason someone feels hurt or let down is my fault in the first place. It doesn’t matter how someone interprets my actions or what they think of what I say or am doing, it matters that I hurt them.

If someone you love feels hurt or let down by your actions, do not ask, “what can I do differently?”

It’s logical, rational, but also selfish to ask that. As if it isn’t hard enough for your loved one to be open and honest with you in regards to your behavior and how they feel about it. Now, they have to come up with answers for you too.

It’s one thing to hear someone, to listen.

It’s another entirely to see them and respect where their efforts end and yours begins.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

There were a few great takeaways from this book and a couple of things that I strive to do differently as a result. Mostly, I strive to value the other person over myself in conflicts that affect them. If they are hurt by something, as difficult as it is (and often it’s quite hard) I strive to prioritize them over my own feelings or emotions. While I am not always successful, I strive to do what Common said, to acknowledge who I am and then with that resolution, pursue your higher self. That ideal and perfect version of yourself, reflecting God’s light.

I gave this book a 3.5/5

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