5 Things to Ask the People Close to You


I believe that to really know the people closest to us, we must ask the right questions.

“Questions determine everything you do in life, from your abilities to your income. Ask the right questions.” — Tony Robbins

Here are the 5 questions that will enable us to become closer to the people we care about and see them at a deeper level than we ever have:

1. What is the goal that you would most like my help in achieving?
2. Why do you work where you do and have the hobbies that you have?
3. What are the 3 most important things you have done in your life so far?
4. What is your most treasured relationship and why?
5. How can I become more of who God has called me to be? Where do you see my greatest strengths and/or weaknesses and why?

1. What is the goal that you would most like my help in achieving?

This one shows that we want to be active in the relationship and we are not just acting selfishly. It is important that the person we are speaking to knows that we care about them and support them.


2. Why do you work where you do and have the hobbies that you have?

They live their life a certain way, why? What are their values? This question should allude to that and open the door to investigate that further.


3. What are the 3 most important things you have done in your life so far?

Another way to find out what matters to this person. Are the most important things that they have done way long ago? They might feel burnt out or unmotivated now, perhaps you would not know that otherwise. The thing here is, everyone is different. I would never expect someone to share the 3 most important things that I have done in my life, it’s my life after all.


4. What is your most treasured relationship and why?

This says a lot about them. What matters with people. You’re clearly important to them, or at least they’re important to you. What makes a relationship treasured?


5. How can I become more of who God has called me to be? Where do you see my greatest strengths and/or weaknesses and why?

I ordered this in a particular way for a reason. I think it’s all about give give give give and then finally, maybe ask. But it’s a relationship. It’s important to give. It’s my belief that those close to us see things we won’t see in ourselves. God calls us to seek wise counsel multiple times. Throughout the book of Proverbs, we are called to surround ourselves with people who will lead us to wisdom, this is a telling question.


In closing, I will repeat the 5:

1. What is the goal that you would most like my help in achieving?
2. Why do you work where you do and have the hobbies that you have?
3. What are the 3 most important things you have done in your life so far?
4. What is your most treasured relationship and why?
5. How can I become more of who God has called me to be? Where do you see my greatest strengths and/or weaknesses and why?

I think that this is just a beginning and a start though, by no means is this an endpoint. Asking the right questions is where we begin but once we have answers, we must create new questions and continue to build our relationships.

What is the best question that someone has ever asked you?


Read this article on Medium.com

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published