But… I’m Tired. I. Need. Energy.
How do you consistently keep energy?
How do you keep from spreading yourself too thin?
It’s easy for me to say yes when someone needs something from me, I live with an “others first” mentality. I love doing things to help others.
In my eyes, anything that I can do to help others also ends up helping me.
I still haven’t found an easy way to explain this next thought. So, if anyone has an idea, definitely please let me know. But, I’m sure that most of us have heard something along the lines of this Chinese saying, There is a Chinese saying that goes:
“If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”
For centuries, the greatest thinkers have suggested the same thing: happiness is found in helping others.
So, how do we teach someone that to be happier, they have to genuinely want to help others without expecting anything in return?
Helping others to help yourself. It’s really an interesting concept and one I have difficulty wrapping my head around. It makes sense to an extent.
I know I included a quote from T.D. Jakes recently but I think that it fits well here.
It was all about giving part of yourself but not all of you. It was all about helping others and how that does not mean you have to give all of yourself. You can give parts of yourself and preserve energy in other areas.
He writes, “Be aware that you may share your gift and not share you. Make that distinction so people who constantly want something from you will not drain you.”
I would connect this also to anything. When we give of ourselves, do not give ourselves, just a part of ourselves. We want to be very selective who we give our whole selves to, it may be a significant other, a best friend, a parent or child.
Giving and getting. The Bible states that, when God commands for people to tithe, God says that He will bless us. But, the purpose of giving is not to get. We can get things because we give but, that is not the purpose to give. We should give without expectation.
So, how do we maintain consistent energy if we give without expectation?
I think it’s the point that T.D. Jakes makes, being authentic, genuine, complete, while still maintaining our inner energy. I believe that it is ethical to give and give and give while still maintaining a source of inner energy.
I’ll move this into a few examples.
I think empathy is a good place to start. We almost always desire people to empathize with us and understand what it is that we are feeling. The hesitancy that I have sometimes is that of an extended feeling.
If someone is experiencing sadness and you begin to empathize with them and understand what it is that they are feeling, that’s great, that is very considerate of you. However, if after you two are done conversing you continue to experience sadness, your energy is diminished.
It’s important, at least in my eyes, to feel the emotion so that you can connect with the person, and then return to your initial state of inner peace and happiness.
The second thing I struggle with in terms of maintaining consistent energy is with helping others. I tend to be over eager to help.
Again, we must separate ourselves after the fact. Imagine someone wants you to help them write the introduction for a 10 page paper. If then, you insist upon helping them with the entire paper and ensuring that the paper is completed as it should be, you may stretch yourself too thin.
Spreading yourself too thin can be described commonly as “doing so many things at one time that you can do none of them well.”
However, I would explain a little bit differently. I say that spreading yourself too thin means that you do not have enough energy to do well the things that you care most about.
I’ll add one final thought here about consistent energy. I shared mostly my perspective on how to preserve energy, but I think that it is equally important, if not more important to share my perspective on how to foster energy.
There is the common saying from Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
King Solomon said, “he who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.”
Alexandra Elle says, “Read books that fill you. Listen to music that moves you. Keep company that uplifts you. Engage in positive self-talk. Be your best self”
So, to create consistent energy, happiness, peace, whatever it may be, I say this, surround yourself with people who share those values. Surround yourself and spend time with the people who value those things. Again, it will compound.
Even if you are empathizing with someone during the day, if you are able to come home to a partner that has inner peace and happiness consistently, it is so much easier to practice those things consistently if the people around you are as well.
Energy feeds off other energy.
Fire feeds fire.
It’s just so important to be sure that the energy that you feed off of is the type of energy that you are desiring. Positivity is a priority. The right decisions with the right people, time and time again. Choose people, keep people, be you.