Did Someone Thank You Today?

“Thank you.”

It really is an extremely simple thing to say to someone. But, is it a frequent thing we hear?

If not, why?

How often do we feel valued?

And then on the flip, how often do we value others?

Valuing others happens in many different ways and often looks different based on the situation. One person can feel valued by another simply by going on a trip together or spending time doing activities together. For another, if that is all that is done, they may not feel valued, they might want something special to happen during the trip, like a ride in a limousine or on a boat, or a trip to a theatre production or to a musical.

If we give others an opportunity to feel valued, we can in return, give them a chance to value us also. But, more than that, we give ourselves a chance to value ourselves. It isn’t enough to simply do something for someone. We must call them up to a higher potential while concurrently valuing ourselves in the process.

There is someone that is close to me that shows value by spending quality time and actively listening. Intentionally, beyond graduate studies, work, fitness goals, and their social life, they make an active effort to consistently pay attention. For me, that makes me feel valued. It is not always comfortable for them to drop everything and be completely present, so when they do so, intentionally, I feel extremely valued.

The people that show the most value to others go out of their way to do something or say something or give something, that is how value is shown. Value is shown, and felt, through effort.

Anybody can do something like hold a door open for someone, but many don’t. Anybody can slow down a little to let the car in front of them in on the freeway, but many don’t. Anybody can let the person behind them who only has 2 items check out first, but many don’t.

Why?

Maybe because we don’t expect that others will return the favor. Maybe because we don’t want to spend time. Maybe because of something else. There’s probably a different reason for everyone.

But, as John Maxwell says,

“The worst excuse is a good excuse because those are the things we believe”

Meaning that if we give ourselves a good excuse to not do something, then we’ll actually tell ourselves that it’s a valid reason to not do whatever it was we considered doing. Valuing others comes down to this though, it isn’t about us. Yes, it is nice to feel valued, but, if we value others first, we become more valuable ourselves too.

If we all want to be valued, why do we not as often, or more often, intentionally value others?