Monotone
As I wrote about and reflected on this past Sunday, we may often be dissatisfied. There are often things that we do not like or enjoy.
I included this in my piece on Tuesday but I’ll include it again here also:
The golden rule states, “treat others the way you want to be treated”
But…
The platinum rule states “treat others the way they want to be treated”
People are all different. People are all entirely different and completely unique. But, as I had written about dissatisfaction and been focused on negative emotions, I’ll stick to emotions. As I wrote about and reflected on this past Tuesday, my experience with people who tend to be more emotional has been quite different from those who tend to be less emotional.
Today, I’ll post about my experience with people who tend to be more unemotional (like me). Though I don’t like labels. I don’t like putting people into boxes. So, I that’s why I am wording everything through “tend to” to hopefully display my intentions appropriately and positively.
The person whom I know best is myself.
Lao Tzu said, “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power”
So, on Tuesday when I wrote about communicating with people who tend to be more emotional than others, that was pulled a lot more from my experience. But, today, I can speak more about my experience with myself.
Speaking first on dissatisfaction or dislike or unrest, the way I would like to be approached is quite different from someone who tends to be more emotional, at least generally speaking. I want to first point out that I believe everyone is completely different and unique. And, while I may tend to be more unemotional, others who also are would not always react or respond the same way that I would.
So, if someone is dissatisfied because of something that I did or something that I caused, being how I am, I want to know immediately.
I intend to do things and create things that are satisfying and fulfilling. Especially in an event where I may be in a one-on-one situation with someone. So, as those are my intentions and the way that I react to things is typically unemotionally, I like to be approached.
I would venture to say that many people who tend to be more unemotional may agree.
What is most important for me, being more intuitive than sensing (if you are familiar with Myers-Briggs), I care more about the context. I want to know how things fit together rather than learn the significance of a single event.
Where I said on Tuesday that it is important to tailor a response appropriately for someone who tends to be overly emotional, I don’t see the same importance carry over for someone who tends to be less expressive emotionally. What matters more to these people is context. Generally speaking, those that are emotive work more off of emotion. In contrast, those that are more unemotional work more off logic and are more analytical.
The why, the reason, the purpose, the underlying message, that is so important. Someone more analytical and logical is used to working with a set structure or outcome. What is important to them is being able to achieve that outcome.
While it may seem that I am unexcited or particularly uninterested, that may not be the case at all. I might be extremely excited. But, my range of excitement does not vary all too much. A smile is frequent, a big smile less so. For someone who is less emotional, that may often be the case.
Overly emotional people may often love to shriek, scream, or yell in excitement.
For someone like me, who is more emotional, I may smile, pat someone on the back or maybe a high five, or just state how excited I am.
That does not always mean that the emotion is not present. It just often means that the way I express whatever emotion is more implicitly than someone else.
I spent a little time just above talking about the emotions and the intensity of them for someone who tends to be overly unemotional. But, I don’t want to encourage that they are approached as someone who tends to be overly emotional would be approached.
In the situation of a relationship, there are likely to be negative emotions that both partners experience. If one partner is overly unemotional, I see it as important that there is open communication from the other partner. The context is the most important part of it all. Yet, people who tend to be overly impassive tend to have a much easier or, not easier, but quicker time moving past negative emotions. If your partner is overly unemotional and you are disgusted by something, if you do not share the reasoning and they don’t understand, it may be easier for them to discount that emotion and continue pressing forward than it would be for someone who tends to be more emotive as their level of empathy may encourage them to not only experience the emotion (as both people can do with practice and intentional development) but also to dwell on it.
In full, those people that tend to be overly unemotional need to be approached in a different way than people who tend to be overly emotional. Those that are less emotional can oftentimes be approached more bluntly than someone who is more emotive or expressive emotionally.
But, as I said on Tuesday too, what matters in my eyes is tailoring your communication to the other person and being open and honest and kind.