Relentless by Tim Grover
2020, book 9: “I don’t want to hear that someone can’t handle pressure. Everyone can handle pressure but most people choose not to you because it’s easier to stay safe in the comfort zone.” — Tim Grover
Finished on February 10, 2020
This is THE book. Tim is the man. He trained MJ, Kobe, Dwayne Wade, and numerous other greats. If you watch any of his content, you know that it’s cutthroat and it’s all true. Tim knows what’s needed to win and this book makes it incredibly applicable for everyone. This was the second time that I went through this book.
“You can’t be improving if you feel others will disapprove of what you do.” — Tim Grover
“Don’t ask, act.” — Harrison Wendland
We need to focus on what we have. We need to use what we have and find greatness and create what we need to have.
It’s easier to stay safe in the comfort zone, especially with everyone telling you what you can’t do. If you don’t make a choice, the choice will be made for you. Let people judge you by your results and nothing else; there is no halfway, no could or should or maybe. The glass is not half full or half empty… you either have something in the glass or you don’t.
Decide. Commit. Act. Succeed. Repeat.
100%. Done. Next. Keep going.
The minute your mind thinks “done” your instincts say, “next.”
There is always another level and the way that we are created as people, there are more capabilities than we even know. God created us in a very very unique and special way and we must continue to push for more and drive for greatness.
Being relentless is about finding the gear to get you to the next level, even when the next level doesn’t exist. It’s about never being satisfied, always striving to be the best, and then getting even better. It’s about facing your fears, getting into the places where you’re guaranteed to fail, and then getting respected for your mental strength and toughness.
Get up, get after it, and keep moving. If the goal is not accomplished, there is no reason to stop or celebrate or talk about what’s been done so far. Get the objective done. Some people need a little pick me up or some extra motivation to keep going, but that’s not a cleaner. Cleaners can push through the resistance and get the job done regardless.
They don’t do anything for show or just to go through the motions. They don’t tell anyone what they’re doing until the job is complete. By the time you realize what they’ve accomplished, they’ve already moved on to the next challenge.
Cleaners get their name because they take responsibility for EVERYTHING. They don’t count on anyone else to get the job done in the first place, they never blame others if something goes wrong. They clean up the mess AND MOVE ON.
Which are you in most situations? That’s who you are. Step out, take responsibility, and ACT. There is no need to seek permission. Sure, you could get into trouble with this method, but it’s the end result that matters and the people that will recognize that are the ones that you want to be around the most.
Coolers will not offer to take on a role they aren’t comfortable with.
Closers will take the role if you ask them and if they have enough time to study it and prepare for the situation.
Cleaners don’t wait to be asked, they just do it.
EASY. Everything else should be EASY. That’s why I’m in the gym at 6am and why I wake up at 4am. Everything after my level of workout is EASY. There is nothing that can be more difficult than what I put myself through in the morning. Most people can’t keep up. There are very very very few workouts that people have ever been able to complete with me.
You go harder when everyone else has had enough.
“My goal is to make it so challenging in the gym so that everything that happens outside the gym seems easy.” — Tim Grover
It’s 20% physical ability and 80% mental toughness. Do what you need to do before you need to so you know what you’re capable of doing when everyone else hits that panic button and looks for you.
LOVE THIS. This was probably one of my favorite quotes in the entire book. You are going to FAIL if you cannot become okay with being uncomfortable.
You go into the zone and control the uncontrollable.
“Get comfortable being uncomfortable or find another place to fail.” — Tim Grover
Who are you? Find out. Capitalize. Act. Live. Keep going & win.
You know exactly who you are.
This could be so many different things. For me it’s just that I ALWAYS want to win. I don’t care what needs to be done, I’ll find an ethical and honest way to win. I will learn the rules better than anyone like Albert Einstein said to do.
“You have to learn the rules of the game and then you have to play better than anyone else.” — Albert Einstein
We must never deny the person that we are and the person that we are becoming. God created you exactly as you are. We may have made decisions that have changed certain things about us but we remain the same at the core — find your core and identify what drives you.
You have a dark side that refuses to be taught to be good.
Your dark side is your killer instinct. It’s when you crave things you don’t talk about and it’s the part of you that refuses to be tamed and ordinary. You know this is who you are and you don’t care how it comes across to others because you know this is who you are and you wouldn’t change if you could.
Just remember, if people can’t keep up — that’s fine. Most people are not cut out for what it is that you want to do and what you desire in life. We need to be compassionate, yes, but we also need to ensure that we are continuing to drive towards what it is that matters to us.
You watch everyone else stumble over themselves trying to keep up with you. Then you find the next thing you can win and the next and the next. Because being relentless is a hunger that never subsides. As soon as a cleaner achieves success and the adrenaline rush secedes, they need more.
There should be NOTHING that you cannot handle. We ALL have pressures. Why do some people deal with certain things better than others? PRACTICE & INTENTIONALITY. We absolutely 100% KNOW with certainty that we are going to experience pressure at one point or another and it’s going to be up to us how we respond. I’d sure hope that we are prepared beforehand.
You’re not intimidated by pressure, you thrive on it.
“I don’t want to hear that someone can’t handle pressure. Everyone can handle pressure but most people choose not to you because it’s easier to stay safe in the comfort zone.” — Tim Grover
People experience problems or issues and then run around like chickens with their heads cut off, like dogs trying to catch their tails, or like a cat trying to avoid the water. It does NOT work. When there’s a problem we need solutions — if you’re relentless then everyone knows that you will provide or create or bring the solution in all situations.
When everyone hits the “in case of emergency” button, they’re all looking for you.
When the original plan cannot work, cleaners ignore the panicking and complaining. They clean up the problem. Cleaners adjust the situation to themselves. They’ll know the original plan but follow their instincts and adapt.
Understand the environment — that’s why you study. Prepare for the environment — that’s why you practice. Capitalize on the environment — that’s when you act. It’s all contingent on action. We need to be ready to act and then actually follow through. Talk without action… actually anything without action is weak.
You don’t compete with anyone, you find your opponent’s weakness and attack.
A cooler wonders what’s going to happen.
A closer watches things happen.
A cleaner makes things happen.
People are unsure of so many things. Why? Why be unsure when you clearly must have some level of preference or perspective? I think that this so obvious that it is often overlooked. Most people do not know how to make decisions. They ponder and ponder and ask advice and ask more advice but never actually reach a decision on their own. It’s ridiculous. We should already know what we want and the corresponding decisions should all fall into place. The sooner you truly decide, the sooner you can start to live.
You make decisions, not suggestions.
Most people don’t want to make decisions: they want to make suggestions so they can wait around and see what everyone else thinks so they can say, “it was just a suggestion!” They know the right answer but can’t act because if they do and it goes wrong, they’ll need to take responsibility and can’t blame anyone else. Meanwhile, someone else is going to make a decision and when it works, they’re getting all the credit. Maybe it isn’t one that works for anyone but the decision maker, but since no one else took charge and made a decision, too bad for everyone else.
A cleaner makes decisions because there is no chance in the world he is going to let anyone else make it for him. He may ask your opinion and add it to everything else he knows but he is not going to do what anyone else tells him, he’s going to follow his own instincts. He decides, and then he acts and lives with the outcome.
Again, whatever obstacles are in the way that are trying to prevent you from reaching your driving goal or that are trying to prevent you from realizing your vision… are just that — obstacles. Go through them, go around them, get them out of the way. Think about the people that you most admire. They are probably not people who just wake up and mosey their way around for the whole day. We need to put the time in and we need to work the fields over and over and over. I think about the farmers who rise at 4am every single day to go work the fields, feed the animals, and prepare for harvest. They surely don’t love that every day but they are preparing for harvest. Go and do likewise.
You don’t have to love the work, but you crave the end result.
There are no shortcuts and there is no luck. There are facts and opportunities and realities. How you respond to them determines if you succeed or fail. Hearing good luck with the game on the line suggests you aren’t prepared. You don’t need luck, you need to know you’re prepared and in control, you don’t need to rely on some random events. You can’t be relentless if you’re willing to gamble everything on the unknown.
People take issue with this one sometimes but come on now, let’s be real here. Being likable gets you nowhere. Truly though. Being likable is not going to get you playing time in a sports game, it’s not going to award you the role of presenting in an important meeting, and it’s certainly not going to garner you a significant other. It’s not a fear like people are simply scared of you. It’s a fear that you are just that much better than everyone else so when you act and when you fulfill your promises, others are fearful of what that could mean for them. They strive to be likable because it’s easier… you do the work and get the results which results in others fearing you; do the work anyways.
You’d rather be feared than liked.
A cooler is liked. A closer is respected. A cleaner is feared and respected for doing exactly what everyone feared they would do. A cleaner moves silently beneath the surface. Tim shares that’s what made Kobe one of the greats of all time. He never said what he’s thinking or what he’s going to do, he just did it and makes others fear his next move and respect his ability to execute it.
Coolers are nice and compensate for their competitive deficiencies by being likable. Cleaners distinguish themselves from colleagues and peers by rising to a higher level. When you’re completely focused on one thing (your craft) it’s hard to pay attention to other things or people. You may sincerely care about how someone is doing but you usually won’t pick up the phone and see how they’re doing.
Kobe rarely hung out with teammates, he would rather watch game film or work out. The same went for Michael Jordan and Larry Bird. They’d much rather have respect than friendship. They relied on their small inner circles of trusted friends — not teammates. They needed people who understood their role in the circle and shared their friends’ vision of success. You can’t get to the top without stepping on some people but a cleaner knows where to step without leaving footprints. You never know when you may need those people again. You need to carry yourself so you can be respected. This does NOT mean being a jerk who big times others to feel better about themselves.
I say no very openly no, after much practice. I don’t elaborate, I don’t make excuses, I speak directly. David Goggins said it best, “If you ask me a direct question I won’t be shy.” There are not many people in my inner circle, there are not many people that I confide in, and there are not many people that I spend extended time with. There are very very few. I live by the motto of “trust but verify” and oftentimes, people cannot uphold their trust. Say you care but then show it too. Don’t ask me a question if you don’t care about the answer. It’s only logical and call it whatever you want, but I need to ensure that the circle around me is propelling me towards all God has for me, there is no alternative.
You trust very few people, and they better not let you down.
In the world of a cleaner, if you can’t be trusted, you’re gone. A cleaner counts on few people — if you’re one of them, that means you earned it. If you’re not, watch your back.
No is a closed door; no is what cleaners say
If you have an explanation, it opens a negotiation
There were two ways to get to India but Columbus didn’t know that when he hit land just on the east side of North America. There were two ways to go — Pacific Ocean and Atlantic Ocean. No matter what happens, no matter what people put in front of you, you can always get what you want. One or way another, you can always make it happen. The most important thing is that everything is made easier and better when you know that what you are working for and what you are desiring is in complete and total alignment with what God has for you also. It’s not about us in this life, it’s about God. When the vision is God-inspired, you will always attain what you desire in HIS time and not yours. That reinforces the fact that there is always more than one way to get what you want. God’s way is ALWAYS better than any way that you’ve thought up on your own and often, is attained in a much shorter time also.
You don’t recognize failure; you know there’s more than one way to get what you want.
“You can be good by playing it safe, you cannot be great unless you’re willing to take chances.” — Tim Grover
There is no time to celebrate — not on this earth anyways. What is heaven about? An eternal celebration and glorification of God. But until then? We have a job to do and it is very very clearly laid out within the Bible. Keep chasing. Keep growing. Keep pushing. Keep going. Keep pursuing.
You don’t celebrate your achievements. You always want more.