Sure. Not Yes. Not No. But, Sure.
There are a lot of things in life that we will not like. That we will not enjoy. That we do not desire.
And, many times those things that we dislike or do not enjoy or are undesirable to us source from others. Our dissatisfaction often comes from other people.
So, if we ever display dissatisfaction, we will be either displaying it directly to someone or indirectly to someone. What I have realized is that a lot of times, people don’t consider that. They may be dissatisfied with something and express that, not realizing that they are ultimately displaying dissatisfaction to someone as well.
It is never easy to address conflict. At least not from my own experience. There are always hesitancies that come along with doing so. Most people do not want to intentionally upset someone. But what happens when we accidentally upset someone?
If we are dissatisfied by something, which happens very frequently, what do we do to express that? Sometimes we may act disgusted and frustrated. Sometimes we may become edgy and short-tempered. Sometimes we may mask it and act as though all is fine. There may be many different ways that dissatisfaction is expressed.
With over 7,000,000,000 people in the world, we are bound to experience some level of dissatisfaction on a regular basis. There is no way that everyone can be completely satisfied all the time.
Satisfaction is defined as, “fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this.”
If satisfaction can come from the fulfillment of wishes, or expectations, or needs, or the pleasure from any of those things, one can conclude that those are different for every individual.
Two people may have the same wish, maybe they’d both like a nice birthday dinner with friends and family. However, their expectations for what their dinner entails is likely very different. Even if their wish and expectations are the same, those individuals will likely have different needs, maybe one person is more socially driven than the other.
The point being, while things may be similar, one’s satisfaction is not going to be the same as another person’s. This is why it is so important to learn to display dissatisfaction.
People have a tendency to pick up on another’s energy. I can tell when someone is upset or experiencing unrest or is frustrated pretty quickly. There are a lot of cues that are different for everyone. Some that I notice are short answers, closed body language, quick-moving eyes, and lack of interest or excitement.
There are so many different variations of each of those general things but those are often the few things that jump out to me and signal that someone is dissatisfied.
Recently, someone asked me a question to see if I was interested in something, I said sure. They said they wanted a yes or no answer and afterward, became short with me. Their body language was fairly closed off and I noticed that their excitement for what they asked was quickly gone also. I recognized that they were dissatisfied with my answer.
So, what did I do?
I was able to call them out in the moment. Understanding who I was talking to and that they are someone who is able to have difficult conversations, I know that they like to resolve things right away. So I said something like, “Okay, I know that wasn’t good enough for you, do you want me to give a yes or no answer?”
By doing that, I was able to address their dissatisfaction and take responsibility. What is also important is the flip side of that, where we are able to address the dissatisfaction that we have as a result of someone else’s actions.
“People say walking on water is a miracle, but to me walking peacefully on earth is the real miracle” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Tuesday and Thursday this week, I am going to expand on my personal experience addressing dissatisfaction and the things that I have done that have both worked and the things that haven’t worked also.