The Way to the Inner Circle of Personal Relationships
For the inner circle, people need experience. We need to be confident that those closest to us can consistently be who they need to be.
John Maxwell wrote in his book “Good Leaders Ask Great Questions”
Without time, we cannot have trust. Trust but verify is my motto and verification doesn’t happen overnight. We need not the simple trust that they won’t kill us but the deeper level trust that these people have our interests in mind when they act. For the inner circle, people need experience.
I don’t want someone who doesn’t know anything in my inner circle. Now that may sound a little selfish but that’s okay, we need to be on comparable levels. These people need success because, “those who can be trusted with little can be trusted with much.” It doesn’t need to be a monetary success but I need to know that they are moving in unison with God and His purpose in their life.
Compatibility and capacity are essential. I need someone who is aligned with me and gets it. They also need to be able to move. They have to be willing and able to support in the way that they’ve been uniquely created to. The most important thing is, that for everyone in my inner circle, I will gladly and without hesitation, do this all in return. I’m there when you need me.
John Maxwell’s 6 Qualities of Those in Our Inner Circle
Bringing people into our inner circle:
1. Time — prove themselves over a long period of time.
2. Trust — we cannot be questioning their motives or they won’t be able to help in the way we need them to.
3. Experience — they need life experience and an understanding and perspective that comes with it.
4. Success — they need to have proven themselves, they need to be good, not just have the potential to be good.
5. Compatibility — they need to mesh well if they are to be part of the inner circle, life is too short to work with people you don’t like.
6. Capacity — they need to be able to keep up to the pace that we operate under and be willing to jump in at any time.
1. Time: it’s very important that somebody can remain consistent over a period of time. They must be able to consistently acting in a manner that they are going to uphold in many different areas I want to live by a trust but verify. Just a verify it means to me that I give somebody the benefit of the doubt and they continue to uphold their character.
2. Trust: I think it’s essential that we can be confident the people closest to us are going in the same direction. This does not mean that they need to have the same goals or the same vision but it’s imperative that they understand our vision and our goals and can speak into them throughout our relationship.
3. Experience: let’s be honest it’s very difficult to learn anything from somebody who hasn’t done anything. anyone who has never use the cell phone before it is going to have a major challenge picking up a cell phone and using it to teach somebody else how to use it if it’s something that I’ve never done before we must remember that as we think about other place experiences as well and different things that we are seeking insights on.
4. Success: success can be to find a number of different ways. One thing that is important no matter how you define success is that I must be execution if somebody was never able to after execute on the things that they no need to be done then they cannot be looked at as successful. Hey successful author for example if somebody who has written a number of things or at least one thing that has really gained a summer some acknowledgment. Is disrespectful to the world successful authors and writers to call yourself a successful author if you’ve never authored anything before
5. Compatibility: I think that arguably this is the most important one. If people don’t mesh well they’re not going to be able to communicate clearly or communicate with each other and that’s definitely an issue, especially when you’re thinking about your inner circle and the goals and objectives that you have. The goals and desires do not need to be the same. Yet, it’s important that we have people around us who can be on the same level as us.
6. Capacity: This is something that is absolutely essential. I love to work out. I like intense workouts. I like workouts that push my limits and empower me to go to the next level and dig deeper. The way I make it happen now a lot of people don’t really like workouts like that and they were very very few people who have actually finished a workout with me rep for rep and set for set.
This goes much the same way for other things I’ve had people who wanted to complete a certain number of books for the year so we were going to kind of keep each other accountable and make it sort of a competition. Well, I blew past my goal and hit 117 when the original goal was 100, they didn’t get halfway.
And lastly, my mind is almost always all over the place I can go from one thing to something completely new and 30 seconds and to keep up with that — it’s tough. But that’s something that is an integral part of somebody who’s going to be part of the inner circle. Have to be able to keep up, have got to keep up. No exceptions.
“If you’re not trying to grow with me, you’re getting pruned.”
“If you don’t challenge me, it’s not a challenge to forget you.”
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