this is for you
The greatest most trusting relationship that you are part of… how did it start? Why?
What did you or the other person do that showed that you two had something particularly special and powerful?
More likely than not, there was a level of giving without expectation. Simply giving.
Now, Brené Brown, the author of the book Dare to Lead, shared a great acronym in her book. I’m nearly done with it but the acronym is all about trust. It’s braving trust. The acronym is below with a short explanation that she provided for each of the letters.
Boundaries — respect them, is what you’re doing within the boundaries of the other person?
Reliability — do you do what you say you’ll do?
Accountability — do you own mistakes, apologize, and make amends?
Vault — do you only share information or experiences that are yours to share?
Integrity — do you do what’s right over what’s fun, fast or easy? Do you practice your values rather than simply profess them?
Nonjudgement — do you give help without judgment and are you able to ask for help without being judged?
Generosity — do you extend the most generous interpretation possible to the actions and intentions of others?
These are all important in my mind.
Each and every one of those things creates trust for both parties in a relationship, I entirely agree. I think that every one of us values each of those a little differently than each other.
For me, reliability is the biggest and most important piece without a doubt.
“Trust, but verify.” — Ronald Reagan
That’s how I trust people. I’ll trust their words, but unless it’s backed up with action, I cannot trust you — at least not as much as I’d like to.
Today though, I want to focus on generosity.
Giving without expectation is something that I feel is extremely important, especially when building a relationship.
I read a great book by T.D. Jakes, Destiny, earlier in 2019 and got a lot out of that. One of the most important points for me was the way to give to others.
“Be aware that you may share your gift and not share you. Make that distinction so people who constantly want something from you will not drain you.” — T.D. Jakes
While giving without expectation is so important, I still believe that is incredibly important to be aware of what we are giving to people.
We cannot give all of ourselves to everyone, that’s impossible, we would have nothing left.
I believe in the expression, “Fill your own cup first and let it overflow unto others.”
That’s entirely the way to go.
We must know what is needed to fill our cup always.
And then, we must give give give without expecting anyone to fill our cup except ourselves.
That is the best way to build a relationship that we can provide value to.