Who You Really Are
We are constantly growing, maturing, changing, and living. Which way are we going? Who are we? Do those closest to us know the answer to that?
We don’t have to show our whole selves to everyone, why would we?
People say there is one thing that we can never get more of — time.
We all have 168 hours each week.
But, I might add one thing, energy.
It has been commonly reported that willpower is limited. That once we are out of willpower for the day, we are out of it.
What about personal energy?
Ultimately we are in control of our energy and while introverts and extraverts are very different, we are still in control.
“Everything that happens is a small part of our journey. We can choose to be passive or we can be proactive and overcome our fears, set our own goals and do the best to reach them. For better or for worse, we always have a choice.” — Giorgio Pautrie
I am midway through James Rosebush’s book called True Reagan. The book is all about what made Ronald Reagan great and why it matters.
In one part of the book, he writes, “Reagan was not a place, insensitive person. He was just afraid of letting people (including even some family members) too close to feel what he felt.
As I’ve been reading my through this book and highlighting various parts, that was one of the passages I highlighted.
But, I thought about it and I thought about myself. Earlier on in the book, Rosebush wrote, “In a way this was something both Reagan and his wife, Nancy, shared: They tightly controlled and managed who they were and to whom they would reveal themselves — that is, what they would reveal about their innermost thoughts and vulnerabilities.”
Now, after reflecting on both of these parts, I think something different. I don’t think it’s fear. I think that Reagan was strategic — even with his feelings.
Connecting back to what I mentioned a little earlier, I think personal energy is limited also. An extravert can go and go and go while at a party or a reception. But, an introvert? After a couple of hours, an introvert is likely to become exhausted.
In contrast, leave an extravert by themselves in seclusion too long and they’re likely to go crazy and need people to energize them.
Now, I ask, what about emotions? What about beliefs?
I think about myself. When I feel something, something deep, I don’t usually share it, with anyone. Because in my logical mind, why would I?
Do people care? Of course, I know that they do. But, at the same time, what kind of energy would be needed for me to share something and then for them to exert energy in response?
The short answer, a lot.
I don’t think Reagan was afraid to tell others about his innermost feelings, because I’m really not afraid to tell others about mine. But, I do think he might have been hesitant to share them because oftentimes, they were probably large, overwhelming, and required a lot of explanation.
And while, yes, it’s great to share that with others, maybe that doesn’t always need to be shared. I know I’m an introvert, I get my energy from my alone time, from things like this, sitting at my desk and writing in the morning.
The author also shared in Chapter 3, “Even his own wife, Nancy, wrote, ‘There’s a wall around him. He lets me come closer than anyone else, but there are times when even I feel that barrier.’”
Wow. How true is that?
We all believe different things, that’s what I believe. I wrote about that on Sunday.
So because we all believe different things, we all show people different aspects of ourselves.
For me, it’s important to display the empathy and kindness that it is a huge part of my identity. But, I don’t always reveal my ambitions and drive in the same fashion.
Kindness is almost always received positively, no matter the setting.
Ambition, on the other hand, can be perceived as cocky, overconfident, or conceitful.
So, I use more caution when revealing my drive or ambition. I don’t always feel the need to reveal all of myself to all people.
When you show yourself to people, what is revealed first? What’s a common thing that people think about you?
I’ll give another example here about myself.
My word is gold. I believe that honesty is super important in relationships and in life. As a result, I display my honesty to everyone. I strive to speak the truth, I share when I am uncertain about something and seek to exude authenticity always.
That’s something I always show, no matter who I encounter.
But, I don’t always show my ambition or drive. Maybe I should, but for now, I have not found reason enough to prominently display that to everyone I encounter.
“We make our decisions and our decisions make us” — Todd Mullins