“Wow, It Just Comes Natural for You”

Everyone has an agenda. Everyone has goals they’re striving towards. Everyone has different skills they would like to develop.

What can you do that is now second nature and does not require much thinking?

Maybe there are a number of things that you can do seemingly naturally.

People say sometimes that it seems like things come naturally. What sorts of things?

Maybe a chef can cook “naturally”

Maybe an athlete can perform “naturally”

Maybe a comic can tell jokes “naturally”

But I see it totally the other way around…

I think that for the large majority of those people, it’s practiced and built — not bought.


Cultivate: Try to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill).

The key is — the most successful people do not just try… they actually do it.

It catches me off guard when people think that my conversational abilities and my networking are natural.

I have to remind myself that people didn’t know me when I was a teenager and barely spoke.

To this day I still have friends who remind me that when we first met I hardly said anything and seemed quite awkward.

That’s since changed but largely because of the intentional effort that I’ve put in.

Setting the intentions

I knew there were certain things that I wanted to do better. Be it networking with business professionals or meeting girls or developing relationships. I realized one of my biggest areas of lack was effective communication.

I had to make some changes.

The situation was never going to be the same but I was always going to be me.

It was time to become adaptable to
new situations and environments.

I’ve made great strides through things like:

— Reading books
— Practicing in every situation possible
— Shaking every hand I could
— Reflecting on who I am and what’s interesting about me

But it’s had to be intentional.

I could have just as easily been in a room with 100 people and talked to one or two people. Yet, that’s not what I did. I took myself out of what was comfortable because I desired to become a better communicator — that was the focus.

Studies have shown that confidence is a result of proficiency — not the other way around.

So as I continued to get better at communicating effectively and more comfortable with who I am as an individual, my confidence increased also.

This is where people have said, “Oh I’m not near as confident as you I couldn’t ever be so forward and introduce myself to people.”

I think that’s an absurd statement.

I worked for this. It didn’t come naturally. I intentionally put myself in situations that I knew I wouldn’t like because I wanted an outcome — so I went to get it.

“If you ask me a direct question I won’t be shy.” — David Goggins

That is the level I’ve gotten to now — but I wasn’t always like that. I live with the idea that there is nothing to hide and whatever somebody asks me I will tell them. At the same time though, I won’t go out of my way to share things that are probably not important… you’ve got to ask.

Everyone has an agenda. Everyone has goals they’re striving towards. Everyone has different skills they would like to develop.

I think that the best example of this is the gym.

I see the same guy on the stair climber every single morning while other people never jump on one.

I see the same girl on the treadmill doing lunges almost every single day while other people never touch one.

I see the same person lifting heavy almost every day while others never get that intense.

Everyone has unique goals and unique agendas.

“Relax. Look around. Make a call.” — Jocko Willink

We need to follow through. Saying that we wish we could become healthier is not a valid statement — you have to put in the work.

Most things in this life are changeable. As long as it’s God’s will, it can be done.

Next time you think of counting yourself out before trying, don’t.

Look for what you want, and then determine what needs to happen to get there. There are almost always strong examples around us of our goals coming to fruition.

If you aspire to be a dentist, you can fairly easily find a local dentist that you could use as a model.

“(A goal) must meet two criteria. It must be stated in a way that you and anybody else could measure it. I will lose 10 pounds is not as powerful as I will weigh 135 pounds by 5 o’clock on June 30. The second is clearer, because anybody can show up at 5 o’clock on June 30 and look at the reading on your scale.” — Jack Canfield

Join my weekly newsletter to see all of my writing here.

Read this article on Medium.com

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published